In my time of dying
by littlemissmusicdummy
Summary: When Hermione died in the war she left only a letter and a confesion. ONE-SHOT!


She had known she was going to die.

She had always known, but in her mind it was always after a long happy life. She would smile to her children and grandchildren and tell them she loved them one last time before closing her eyes, slipping away from this world peacefully. This could not be as far from reality.

They had left her behind, not on purpose she knew, but left her none the less. Her skin was now decorated with scars all over her body, her muscles ached and she was weak. None of it mattered to her though; she had accepted her fate as soon as she knew her boys, her best friends, had escaped to safety.

She still rejoiced in the look of surprise of Bellatrix, when she had uncovered her arms for the first time. Already seeing scars she had made in her body until not so long ago, and in that moment they knew she was already dead, no kind of pain will ever break her because she had already done that for them.

They had tortured her, as everyone expected, but she will never scream or plead, she never answered questions or retorted to insults, much less cry. That just angered whoever was torturing her more and almost every time she passed out from the pain or blood loss, waking up in her cell some time later.

She knew she will not be rescued and if so, she will already be dead by that time. Harry and Ron will not be thick enough to come for her without a plan or even worst when the rest of the world they knew was in danger. She had thrown her bag at the floor when they first got her because of the sword, and she knew Harry had gotten it when they left. She just wished they found her letter for each of them after all of this was over.

Time continued to pass and every day she wondered who of the people she knew was still alive, the tortures got worse and worse. That mad woman came more frequently too; she would interrogate her with the hope of breaking her of hearing one scream come out of her mouth. But she was already broken beyond that, the cruel treatment of her parents towards her as a child, because (as Harry) her parents too abused her only in more physical ways, the cruel treatment of people (muggles and wizards a like) and her own self-hatred had driven her to that, to become the shell of a girl that she used to be. Now she was broken without repair even before she knew she was a witch, before she met the people she considered family, before she knew what war looked like, she was broken. Still she regretted nothing

Soon she heard the news of the Battle of Hogwarts and the defeat of Voldemort. How much time had she been in there? It didn't matter, she knew she could let go, for what she knew they had won and both of her boys were fine. Her only regret was that she will never get to tell him what she felt for him, but her letter explained it well enough, and she will have to do with that.

Soon she was taken to the torture chamber, if they didn't win the war she will never be able to live a life after it, she knew it.

She was back in her cell when she heard people battling against each other somewhere nearby, she knew it was most likely the Order finally coming to her rescue but she was tired, oh so tired, that she figured she will just wait for them to come, and with that in mind she tried to cling into consciousness as long as she could.

Finally she heard footsteps coming; she heard other cells open and people shouting orders to others, she heard people apparating and people crying. After what felt like an eternity two familiar faces came into her view and she smiled for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Hermione" it was Ron, quickly both of her boys unlocked the door and ran to her side

They embraced her as gentle as possible and she soaked up the feeling of warmth and love as much as she could. She looked at both of her best friends her brown eyes trying to capture every single detail.

"Did we win?" she asked her voice hoarse and raspy. Harry chuckled and had tears in his eyes when he looked at her and answered

"Yes, 'Mione, we won"

"That's good" she smiled a weak smile

"C'mon we have to take you to a healer, just hold on princess" And she was lifted up and cradled carefully between the man she loved and her best friend.

"I love you both" she whispered before the three of them apparated away.

They appeared at The Burrow, where they had told the rest of the clan to wait with healers at the ready, but when they looked down again to the third member of their group they saw glassy and unfocused eyes staring up at them and a soft smile spread around her lips.

"Hermione" called Ron shakily, they quickly laid her in a couch nearby and Harry began searching for a pulse immediately.

"Call someone!" he yelled at Ron before he started CPR, even then he knew it was useless. When a healer came he was proved right.

Hermione Granger had died

Soon sobs and cries were heard, while he and Ron clinged to the best friend they had failed to save. Pleading her to wake up, to breathe, to tell them off one more time, to do anything; yet deep inside they knew she will not come back and they cried for that, for her, for them, because they will never be complete again and because it was all they could do.

The never ending funerals began with her. The Griffyndor princess, as they called her, was buried in Godric's Hollow. Next to Harry's parents, since she had modified her parents memories the only family she had left was her adoptive one and they had seemed fit to bury her there as she will still be close to them.

A war memorial was put in the entrance of Hogwarts; her name will forever be there printed in gold beautiful letters and they had put a memorial just for her in the library, where she had been at some point in all her adventures.

For the, now, Golden Duo it will never be enough to praise the person that was Hermione Granger.

Months later they had finally decided to take a break, and so had rented a flat in muggle London, near Diagon Alley just in case. And in search of most of their things they realized, they were still in Hermione's beaded bag.

So, with some dread at what they might find, they began to take out all of the things that she had packed while they searched for the horocruxes.

They had found some of her clothes, some of theirs, a lot of books, food, water, quills, parchment, the pieces of Harry's old wand, some toiletries, muggle and wizard money, blankets, sleeping bags, some plastic dishes and cups, and, finally, a two letters one directed to him and one for Ron in a messy but still organized and beautiful handwriting they had grown familiar due to the notes left on their homework when she checked them.

He called Ron and gave him his letter before he opened his and began to read it

_Dear Harry: _

_I don't know if you'll ever find this, but if you do and are reading it right now it means I died. I know I shouldn't state the obvious, but it is more for me than you to say that. _

_Harry, you must not blame yourself for my death or any of the others. We all knew what we were getting into and we knew what we could lose, it was our choice to follow you and to fight for what we thought was right, either way we all were going to die someday and, although even I wish it would have been later, we cannot change the past and, even if we could, I would die a million times if it meant you and Ron were safe. You two are my best friends and the only family I have left. I may be logical and calculating (the brightest witch her age as they say) but I still have a heart and I refuse to live in a world where you or the rest of my family is not there. _

_And, as Dumbledore once told you, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. I like to think my mind is well organized, plus we lived through so many adventures that we had to have one by ourselves sometime. Yours is to live Harry, I'll be waiting here for you to come and, when you do, tell me all the details about it. _

_However I died I can assure you it was my choice, please don't be sad. You still have your whole life ahead of you now, go finish school or go to work, and make the Wizarding World a better place so your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren (and so on) can have the life they deserve. _

_Harry, we were all dammed to this war the moment we were born, you had nothing to do with it. It is just fate and it is something you can't control. So please, don't dwell on the past (I know how you think Potter and if you ever think one tiny bit of any of this was your fault I will come from the grave to slap some sense into you) and live on, for you have survived a whole life of pain and deserve to be happy. _

_Having said that, and I know it is very selfish of me to say, I have a confession to make. _

_I love you Harry, with all my heart and not just as a sister or as a best friend but as something else. I was waiting for the war to end so you didn't have to deal with all of it and, on top of it, see if we worked out or even at all, since I knew you fancy Ginny. I'm sorry I told you this now but you deserve to know. _

_I will always watch over you, my darling Harry don't forget that. I'll be sure to meet your parents and talk to Sirius for you; I know how much you miss them. _

_And before I forget, when you have a daughter don't you dare name her after me, it will only make you sad. _

_With all my love, _

_Hermione Granger._

And he cried because she will never hear him say that he had loved her all along too.

* * *

><p>It had been 4 years after reading that letter that he welcomed to the world his first son, James Sirius Potter. He and Ginny had been rejoiced when the little bundle was handed over to them. While Ron and Lavender stared in awe at their first nephew.<p>

It was two months after James' 2 year old birthday that they were at St. Mungo's receiving their second son. Albus Severus Potter; and the family of, now, four embraced that night.

Not even a year later he had met his niece for the first time, Rose Weasley had her mother's curls, big brown and curious eyes, and the Weasley's red hair. He couldn't help but smile when Ron told her that Rose was the name Hermione had always loved.

Eleven years after that, they all found themselves at platform 9 ¾ saying goodbye to their children. James (who was the spitting image of his father) found his friends quickly and promptly boarded the train, not before kissing his mother and sister on the cheek and hugging his father.

Albus and Rose were looking uncertainly around them, once Harry managed to reassure and cheer up his son and niece once again; he and his cousin boarded the train and found an empty compartment where, soon, a blond haired boy joined them.

Harry, Ginny and, their eight year old daughter, Lily waved until the train finally left the station.

* * *

><p>He knew he was going to die.<p>

He had always known, but in his mind it had always been a tragic or heroic death; a death for the greater good .In his mind he always died when dueling Voldemort, killing them both in the process and thus ending the war. This could not be as far from reality.

Many years had passed before an already aged Harry Potter left this world peacefully, being surrounded by his children and grandchildren as one of his closest friends had once desired.

When he opened his eyes again he found himself in the flat he and Ron had rented many years ago. Things were still sprawled over the floor as they had been, at first, when they moved in. He looked around some more before realizing he looked like his seventeen year-old self again; Harry allowed a smile to grace his face.

Soon he heard voices coming from the kitchen and wondered who in the world it could be. He got up from where he was sitting and slowly made his way to the kitchen. The sight before him surprised him.

There sitting in the small kitchen table where his parents, they were laughing at something Sirius or Remus had said while happily sipping tea from his mismatched mugs, all the while a seventeen year old bookworm shook her head with a small smile on her face.

"It did not happen that way, Sirius" she said

"Oh, Hermione, be honest, did you or did you not ride a hippogriff, a symbol of love, with my godson?" Her flushed cheeks just drew more chuckles from the other adults

"You know it was all circumstantial Sirius" she said in a somewhat annoyed voice, as if she had had this discussion before "Now hush, he might be here any minute now"

"Yes Sirius, let the girl be. She is stressed enough already" said his mother

"Thank you Lily" his best friend smiled in gratitude towards his mother, which she returned.

"And why would you be stressed, darling? The boy loves you" Assured Lupin

"Things change Remus. He built a family and moved on. I wouldn't blame him if he has all, but forgotten me" she smiled sadly at the werewolf

"And what makes you think I will forget about the girl who nagged me into doing my schoolwork?" Harry said making his presence known. He smiled at the same time she did

"Harry!" she squealed before tackling him into a hug

"I've missed you too Mione, but I need to breathe" he said after a while

"Sorry" she said which earned a few chuckles from their small audience

Soon after that he was embraced by his crying mother and smiling father, it felt good to finally be with them. They both told him how sorry they were he had to live through all of that and how proud they were of Harry. After they released him and he crossed the small room to the waiting arms of his godfather, his smile spread further when he hugged his former professor.

"Well now we've seen him James, we should head back. I can trust Hermione to look after him until tomorrow" Lily said after a while, James looked like he was about to protest but a sharp look form his wife stopped him.

"Oh, of course, darling. Hermione I trust you can help our Harry settle down for the night. We'll see you both tomorrow at lunch" James said in a somewhat playful tone which made Lily smack him playfully on his arm

"Leave her alone, James. Come now Sirius, Remus. Let the children talk" Lily said in a voice which left no room for argument. And both men obediently made their way to the door, but Sirius did not leave until he turned around and gave them both thumbs up, before being dragged away by an amused looking Remus, who offered an apologetic smile.

"Goodnight, guys and Lily can you tell Molly that Harry is already here. I was supposed to go fetch her when he came, I completely forgot" said Hermione

"Of course, dear. We'll see you tomorrow"

"Bye mum" Harry said before all of the adults disappeared through the door.

"She is really nice Harry, and you certainly got her eyes" Hermione said after a while with a small smile

"So, what do they want us to talk about?" he asked and she blushed

"Well…about what I said in the letter, they want to know how you feel about me now. Your father, Remus, Sirius, Fred and Arthur even got a bet going about it. Dumbledore and Snape almost got in, but quickly realized how tricky it could be" She answered honestly and straight forward, just as he remembered her

"Do you still love me, Mione?" he asked his green eyes flashing with uncertainty

"Of course I do Harry. I know it was probably selfish of me to say so through that letter but you had to know. Though I'm certainly happy that you moved on and had a family, by the way they all are beautiful in their own way. I still couldn't forget you; your mother said it had to do with our bond as friends and all the adventures we lived together but I don't know if that is why or maybe I'm just too stubborn to let you go …and I'm rambling aren't I?" She said in one breath (Which still amazed Harry)

"Yes, you do that when you are nervous" he said with a fond smile

"Sorry. But Harry what everyone is waiting for is for you to answer is if you still love me" She said staring straight ahead so he couldn't see her reaction.

He considered this question. He had loved Ginny when they were together, but it was a calm distant love, like the one you feel for a best friend who you wish to be more but still not reaching the point of a passionate and powerful love, the one that would make you invincible to anything or anyone, the one that makes you do stupid things, the one that could move mountains and tame seas. He had felt this love for Hermione. He could not count the nights Ron had to charm him into the bed so he wouldn't escape to try and rescue her. He already knew his answer.

He gently moved her face so she was facing him, and ever so slowly he leaned in before capturing her lips with his own, and in that moment she knew what he felt, what he had always felt, so she kissed back telling him everything she could through it and he understood. Soon they broke apart. Her cheeks were flushed and he intertwined their fingers.

"Does that answer your question?" he said

In that moment both of them could swear they heard the happy voices of James Potter, Sirius Black and Fred Weasley chanting something like "we won" and they couldn't help but laugh.

Bonus! Ron's letter and reaction to it

Ron heard Harry calling his name form the other room. He couldn't help but wonder what did he need him for, after all he knew that he was unpacking Hermione's bag. When that thought crossed his mind a sense of dread overwhelmed him. What had Harry found in there?

With that question in mind he rushed to their living room, where Harry was sitting cross legged on the floor various items around him but he held something in his hands. He looked up when his best friend entered the room, his eyes were glassy and Ron could see the pain hidden behind them.

"What is it, Harry?"

The-man-who-conquered handed him a small white envelope, with his name scribbled on the back. The redhead's eyes widened when he recognized the handwriting as the one that was on the notes that, through the years, helped him pass most of his exams (if not all).

Ron exited the room quickly, knowing that Harry will read his letter right away and he wanted to give him some privacy while at it. After all it was the final gift their best friend had left for them, a final goodbye.

He reached his room in record time, before he plopped down his bed. Unpacked boxes still lingered there, but most of it was already organized (or what the youngest Weasley male called organized) in the different spaces around his room.

He stared at the letter he held in his hands. Did he really want to read it? Did he want to make it so final? So real?

So far he had pretended that Hermione was on a trip or looking for her parents in Australia, and soon he will hear a knock on the door and she will be there, looking rather annoyed at how they kept the place immediately starting to tell them off for some reason or another.

He knew it wasn't going to happen but he could pretend for a little bit more, just until Harry got over his grief, and he will be able to mourn her properly, because someone had to be strong when the person they had seen as invincible was six feet underground.

So he sat there leaving the letter in question on his night table to read it later.

Weeks went by before he could even think about anything that wasn't his family, Harry or himself. They were all mourning the loss of their loved ones, and they constantly wrote to each other just to know how they were or to vent about something, also his best mate was starting to worry him. He had found him sobbing on the floor not even half an hour later after he had given him Hermione's letter. He knew it had something to do with the bright witch but the red head didn't dare to ask.

His best friend was falling to pieces and he knew so, after weeks of putting up with it, he finally decided it was time he got some answers. Thus he went to the only person he knew that always knew what to do or search, as always.

When in doubt he went to Hermione.

He found the letter easily, as he had not moved it from where he had placed it that nigh and finally he opened it and began to read its contents.

_Ron: _

_As I am writing this we don't know where you are. Harry is sleeping and I am looking to a beautiful sunrise in the forest of Dean. It feels truly lonely. _

_I know what you are expecting form this letter, you most likely don't know what to do and can hardly keep everything together. So you search for help in me, it is a habit we learned over the years you know? Our late night conversations in the common room when you would tell me how hard it was for you to have such successful brothers and how you tried to keep up with expectations, it was a feeling we shared. The fear of not being good enough._

_But Ronald, I am not there anymore to help you and you must know so by now. _

_You are a great friend Ron, caring and protective; although you tend to be tactless and a little thick at times you are a great person and friend. I am really glad I met you, because if it wasn't for you I would have never had some of the best and worst experiences in my life. And I'm glad for every single one of them _

_You have to be strong now, Ron, for everyone. And I am not saying you shouldn't mourn whoever we lost in battle because, sometimes, strength is for you to reach out for the help you need but try not to lose yourself to anything. Let people help you and give them the help they need in return. Because Ron you are good enough, if not for the world, then for me and Harry, and yes you have made mistakes but we are barely 17 for Merlin's sake! We all have made mistakes it is what you do to fix them that matters Ron. _

_I know you knew I was in love with Harry and I'm sorry that hurt you but you will always be like my brother and I hope that is good enough for you. The only, and last, thing I ask of you is for you to know you are not second best to no one and that someday you find someone to spend the rest of your life with._

_Live Ron, for all of us who will never get the chance to. See the world, have a tons of red headed children. Don't dwell on the past and don't blame yourself, none of this was your fault and you couldn't have prevented it in any way. (I know you too much Ronald, I know what you are thinking and I swear if you don't listen to me I will rise from my grave to tell you off) _

_I must go now. Harry is about to wake up and I don't want him to find out I have been writing my final goodbye to you. It will just upset us both._

_Remember you are good enough Ron, never doubt that. _

_Always watching over you, _

_Hermione Granger. _

Ron re-read the letter several more times. His bushy haired best friend knew them too well for his liking, and although her letter was somewhat cheesy (it was a girl thing he figured) he knew she was right, as always. So he picked up his Gryffindor courage or what was left of it, and strode out if his room with the full intentions about confronting Harry about what his letter said.

He found the dark haired wizard in the kitchen, absentmindedly making lunch for both of them.

"Hey, mate" he said making Harry look up from whatever he was frying

"Hey" was the only reply he got; the red head took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. He had to do this for the sake of his two best friends

"I read the letter she left me today" he stated and Harry stopped momentarily before he continued cooking and Ron took this as his cue to continue "She confirmed something I suspected, for a long time now. Told me to be brave, and to live on. So, at her request, I must ask do you love her, mate?"

The other wizard had stopped everything he was doing and turned back to stare at his best friend. The sadness that was in his eyes almost made Ron regret ever asking, but he could never take back the words he had said and he needed to know, more than anything because then he will know if the dead of the girl he considered as a sister had been worth something more than his excuse of a life.

After a couple of minutes of silence Harry opened his mouth, but no sound came out and a tear made its way down his chin.

"I do" he answered while still trying to keep his composure, So Ron did the only thing he could think of doing he embraced the boy he considered a brother and soon they were full out sobbing for the loss of the girl that made them complete.

* * *

><p>So yeah my first HP Fic! please don't mind my horrible English mistakes (I'm a native Sapnish speaker) and Review! I love you all and if you want to ask something about the story or spmething just PM me!<p>

- littemissmusicdummy


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